a long time coming

hola, I'm still alive!

I'm back in New England (where both my parents' families originate); I love it. Yet I was supposed to have a 'manny' job lined up and it fell through (last-minute family drama on their side), so now I'm hanging out in a forest (rural home) scanning job listings and playing the "family network" card.

But below the surface I'm quite content whilst playing with new life theories from the foundation of old "apexes":
...for a while I was experimenting with fruitarianism (fruits [incl. tomatoes, cucumbers, & bell peppers], nuts, and grains), which I've since given up for the "eat what tastes, feels, and smells good" diet (which is mostly the above fruit diet anyway); I'm bulking up though (lots more carbs than I was eating, 'cause I saw myself in the mirror at the gym and was like DAYM I look small and fragile).

...experimented with the idea of "use it or lose it" but also let go of the "expanding"/growth mentality and stopped massaging myself and have come to the conclusion that the healing power of touch is important (i.e. I've gotten more tense).

...also got hooked on Battlestar Galactica and just finished the entire show a week ago. (totally not happy with the plotholes, but this forum has been of great consolation). BSG greatly influenced my (religious) beliefs and I began to reconsider the power of Love (vs. Fear), and then also the idea that we are all perfect just as we are (kind of a "don't worry, be happy" no matter what -- e.g. your best friend is homicidal [to use an extreme example]), so that's been interesting.

...and for some reason a lot of the above reignited my interest in yoga, which I just started doing this afternoon (to the BSG soundtracks, no less). Maybe something to do with the idea of "use it or use it" meets Love...
And nude yoga, mmm.

...notion that "God helps those who help themselves" but that God actually does help (as opposed to the atheistic slant of the axiom).


and Now
...I'm debating what my next step is; manny, bartender, barista, masseur, screenwriter, etc.

I just want to be healthy: sexy, happy, fun, loving, creative, etc.
Time will tell...

Love,
gM