an epic tale of achieving everything & nothing & everything & nothing &

OR out of a whirlpool and into the sky; a destination manifested with time
BUT REALLY towards the best and settling with happiness

A new 'favorite band of the moment' is SUPERCAR (Japanese). They have some odd music videos, and could be categorized as postmodern pop-rock-electronica. Their videos remind me of a dark(-humor) Japanese film Battle Royale (based on a novel of the same name): in brief, a group of students are forced by teachers to fight themselves to the death on an island.

Nobody Needs to Know is an interesting, 'creative commons' film. I stopped watching it after an hour though.

_________I applied to Aya (my raw-fish haven) for a super-temp job
___________________...payments in eel?

____Summer '08 = sunny and salty Californ-i-a
-: I'm freelancing myself [writing, buying/selling (my dad's unused “collections”), martial arts dojo, social engineering/networking, etc.]
-: 'hopefully grabbing a minimal law intership (2-3hrs/day, twice/week), for a taste


In other news, I "started" a barefoot-running group at TCD. I quote 'started' because we haven't actually met up yet, and it may end up being a one-man club. Time will tell!

Now that my germphobia has succumbed to reason, I've become obsessed with used books, especially from libraries. As a side effect, I've felt a lot more optimistic and comfortable with the world around me; just glancing at the astonishing amount of ludicrous/genius (non)fiction available at the public library makes me feel as though I've been a self-repressed thinker, afraid of sounding crazy for some of my ideas when in fact people get paid for being “crazy” and very few get hurt for it unless they really go out of their way (or are simply unlucky). Thank you free speech and the indoctrination necessary for it to work relatively peacefully!
______...currently checked-out are a lot of cyberpunk sci-fi novels (Jennifer Government, Philip K. Dick), some nutrition books, a gardening book, and a SAS survival guide. Information that I find interesting/cool/helpful will be posted on here.
_______________I am using this website as a place to deposit all things I think are timelessly fascinating (and once deemed obsolete, will be removed). It's a blog of refinement, aside from my posts (which are, however, edited for hasty mistakes). The movies, music, books (and so forth) listed on here are items I think stand the test of time (or are important) for one reason or another*.
______*i've started this blog late in my days, so to speak, so i'm sure there's lots of great stuff from even a year ago that I've forgotten about. As I think time could be better spent elsewhere, information will be added as I enjoy it (says the guy who's spent a good portion of the last week on getting this blog off the ground...).

Health update: I feel wonderful, most of the time.
These days I simultaneously desire new/change while being aware of the dangers of such eagerness, especially when deciding how to take care of one's body & mind. The most pertinent critique of the raw-food diet is that many raw-foodists unintentionally starve themselves; because many raw-foodists believe they are getting many more nutrients than if they eat cooked food, they eat less (when, according to modern nutrition measurement, the difference between cooked and raw food nutrients isn't actually that significant). So, I'm making sure to eat lots of vegetables (and fruits), not assuming that I'm getting much more than if they were cooked. One reason I'm sticking with raw food, then, is a fairly-well-supported fact that heat chemically alters the food, so it could be argued that cooked broccoli is a different food from raw broccoli. I'm thinking that raw foods are better for me, but the common argument towards a raw diet (that, in regards evolution, our bodies are meant for raw food) is pretty much bullshit. We'll see how long I stay out on this limb.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Yes, I've been sleeping much better; 'glad you asked. For a while (though more actively in the last week) I have been searching for 'the optimal sleeping position' by experiment, and then via information (the internet). I couldn't find the correct position on my own; I've become very aware of long-term muscle tension, and therefore recognize that many positions I find comfortable at first, eventually put strain on some other part of my body (a strain I feel upon awaking). And, unfortunately, the common answer online is 'whatever works best for you!' ...What a ridiculous answer! There are anatomically incorrect ways of sleeping: e.g. on your back (without any support pillows/devices) flexes the spine—at your lower-back—in the opposite direction from what it wants!
_______So...the anatomically correct sleeping position is on your side, in a semi-fetus bend (your spine is not meant to be straight); your arms should be below your shoulders (circulation system), and your neck should be in line with your spine (“ball” up a spare sheet so that you can find the right height for your head/neck). When your neck is lined up correctly, you will feel a great relaxation around your neck and your shoulders; if your head is tilted to left or right, one side of your neck will start to feel strained (aim to align your chin with the center of your chest).
_____-but what about putting the arm your sleeping on to sleep?
_______-unless you're overweight, your body won't let this happen.

From all my research on breathing, the most important things to be aware of are:
1. breathe from your diaphragm (you should feel your lower-midsection expand in all directions, especially on both sides, raising your lower ribs (rather than pushing your belly out). The diaphragm is a muscle, so the more you do this the easier it will become; likewise, you might also get "tired" of breathing at first.
2. breathe out; your body will take care of breathing in. Your goal is to be calm at all times, so don't HEAVE the air out or SUCK it in; make sure you're either breathing out, or letting your body breathe in, at all times (none of that in-between/stopped-breathing nonsense!)
3. I'm not quite sure about this last point, but I'm pretty sure you want to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. (I believe) biologically, you have lots of antiviral mechanisms in your nostrils, as opposed to just taking in everything via your mouth.

ARGHHHH!!
...Something that I've always struggled with is keeping anxiety/stress in check. I easily get caught up in something (especially on the computer) and then—mentally & physically—tense up, which renders me easily agitated. So I keep waging the war between (computer-)addiction and knowing what will make me objectively happier. Of course, knowing a solution to a problem doesn't necessarily mean one will take it; there's a common, sick enjoyment in deviating when one knows how to fix something.

_________Along the same lines, I've found that dwelling on anything (good/bad) absolutely negatively affects one's life. That's a grandiose statement, but one that I think stands the test of time. The less you care, the less you worry, etc. The whole idea of depression via apathy is a dwelling on “meaninglessness” rather than what happens if someone has no “reason” for living. i.e. Only if one thinks he/she needs a reason, does not having a reason bother him/her.

_______________This brings me to what seems to be the best way to conquer apathy, and life in general: Awareness. Awareness of all the possibilities and variations, etc.* No need to take any of them seriously, just be aware (using all senses and skills). This brings the Best to the user in all situations, no exceptions. *'total awareness' should not be confused with that awful, vague term 'moderation.' Aristotle's 'Doctrine of the Mean' is as helpful as saying “life is complicated”; note the passive/active difference.


___Physically, my circulation's getting better, my acne has disappeared (though it will start to recur when I tense up; I think it's very circulation-dependent), and in general I've achieved a physical relaxation I had forgotten exists. Interestingly, when I break away from my addictions and achieve such relaxed states, memories of childhood (associated with such physical relaxation) come back. Talk about muscle memory!
_________My eyesight's also improving; though it also gets noticeably worse after I step away from hours of tense/anxious computer time (researching politics, music, videos, novels, etc.), or if I'm in class scrambling to jot notes down (i'm now aware of me tensing my eyes—which doesn't help me see better, but for some reason I subconsciously think it might).

-anyway-
'tis always a work in progress, but I'm beginning to feel relieved that I am making progress (or at least increasing my objective knowledge-base), and that such lifestyle revisions (and notions of progress) are not futile/pointless—though some believe them to be! It all depends on what you're going for, and I'm still on a path to Greatness.

CARPE DIEM!

-g